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Doug Larsen, Staten Island, on our theory that SNL’s Colin Jost finished second in the Gerber Baby Face Contest. “Jost did however win the most punchable face.”

Winning streak’s over, Amber Heard. “The disappointment I feel today is beyond words.”

It wasn’t as bad as the Cleveland Browns choosing Deshaun Watson, but choosing the Cubs had Stitches looking for a little massage therapy.

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Joe Girardi’s gone, and the Phillies have responded, winning five in a row under interim manager Rob Thomson.

Philly is in Milwaukee. Zach Eflin picked up his second win from nine starts by blanking the Angels for eight innings.

The Brewers’ Corbin Burnes comes off his worst outing of the year. The Padres burned Burnes for five runs in just 3 ² / ₃ innings. Play 10 units on the Phillies.


Cleveland 4, Texas 0. Shane Bieber pitched into the fifth inning, then the bullpen dominated after a lengthy rain delay. Back to business. Up to +939 shoelessjoes.

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